


If You Give a Fanfic Writer a Prompt

by spiralicious



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Community: Kurohedonism, Crack, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-31
Updated: 2012-08-31
Packaged: 2017-11-13 06:59:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/500750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiralicious/pseuds/spiralicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at the trial and tribulations of fanfic writing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Give a Fanfic Writer a Prompt

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for helping me with this Kira!
> 
> I originally wrote this for kurohedonism, Prompt 12 "Jealousy," under the username kattrip033 at livejournal.

Fudp0rnQueen85 sat down to write at her computer. The new prompt at Kurohedonism had just been announced and she was going to write for this one no matter what. It was “jealousy.” Of, course she had said the same thing about “pussy,” and look how that went.

Now, it was just a matter of coming up with something to write.

“Let’s see...um...curryqueen7 and I were joking about how Sebastian hates Soma because he wants Agni. That could work.”

She started typing.

“Sebastian watched Agni attend to Prince Soma. It seemed to him that it was such a waste to have someone so dedicated and capable attached to...him.” And then the idea died.

She thought and she thought and she thought. She even banged her head on the desk a few times, but no ideas came. She tried looking over her file of fic ideas hoping for inspiration.

“Why are none of these ideas for Kuroshitsuji?!”

She spun around in her computer chair, racking her brain for any tiny bit of inspiration she could use to build a fic around.

“Well, twinkiegrl and I were talking about how eye socket fucking would have made my apocalypse fic better. Hannah has one eye. Alois might do that. But I have no idea how to add jealousy to that.” She hung her head in despair. Her friends seemed to come up with ideas for Kuroshitsuji fics so easily, why couldn’t she?

She decided to hop over to Youtube and watch AMVs in hopes of sparking some sort of idea. After watching, and dancing along with, a Grell tribute on repeat for an hour, something finally came to her.

“Grell! Of course!”

She started typing.

“Grell seethed with rage as Sebastian and...um...Ceil? No. Claude? Maybe. Mey Rin? No, then I’ll have to write het. The Undertaker? Yes, the Undertaker! Grell seethed with rage as he watched Sebastian and the Undertaker fuck in the moonlight. Wait, why are Sebastian and the Undertaker fucking in the moonlight?”

She let the idea percolate for awhile. That usually helped. Three hours later, when she still had nothing else and none of her friends would chat with her because they were all working on Kuroshitsuji fics and fanart, she was ready to blow.

“Why doesn’t anyone else have this problem?!”

She sighed and decided to go to her last resort.

“When in doubt, write Pluto.”

She started typing.

“Pluto was chewing a rather tasty stick that Finnian had given him, when he saw Sebastian come outside. Sebastian was playing with that cat again; doting on it, petting it, squeezing it. Why couldn’t Sebastian play with him like that? Pluto threw away the stick and ran up to Sebastian and shoved the cat out of the way. He rubbed his face on Sebastian’s leg and whined. Sebastian...crap, what did Sebastian do?”

She searched and searched her porntastic mind. She came up with all sort of visions of Pluto laving his tongue over Sebastian’s cock and Sebastian fucking Pluto until he howled, but she could come up with no segues to the porn.

She sobbed. A seven thousand word fic was just posted and she couldn’t even come up with a hundred word drabble. Even her beloved Pluto muse had abandoned her. What was she going to do? The deadline was coming up and she had nothing. Her friends were working ahead and she was still stuck on “jealousy.” It wasn’t fair.

Three Rockstar energy drinks later, the glimmer of an idea sparked. What about Tanaka? Sebastian stole his job. Tanaka can’t like that.

She started typing.

“Tanaka peered down the hallway at Sebastian attending to the young master. That should have been him. It wasn’t fair! Sebastian stole his job and became the star of the manga. Look at all the fangirls he has! They should have been Tanaka’s!”

Fudp0rnQueen85 stared at what she had just written.

“Ok, that’s just stupid.”

She started balancing a pencil on her nose. Time was running out. It was just minutes until the deadline and she had nothing. She was not willing to admit defeat. Then it hit her. What about Ceil, Lizzie, and Soma, a practically untapped threesome and wealth of possibilities?

She started typing.

“Lizzie peered into the game room. She knew she shouldn’t be there, watching, but she couldn’t help herself. Prince Soma was panting and mumbling words she didn’t understand. Ciel was beet red but had a look of determination on his face as he stroked the prince’s cock. They were both naked and slick with sweat. Lizzie was fuming and she wanted to march in there, but she couldn’t. She knew she should just go back to bed, but she couldn’t get herself to. It wasn’t fair! She was Ciel’s fiancé and Soma said she was cute so why were they both together in there when they could both be having her!”

Fudp0rnQueen85 smirked with satisfaction as she clicked post.


End file.
